Highlights of the Year: A photo blog

A year ago on today's date, I began a sensational journey. From Cali, to Seattle, to road tripping back to Atlanta, to Nola, to New England, back to Cali, to Colorado, to Minnesota, and finally to Nashville (and everywhere in between), it's been a pretty hectic year for me. 

Despite my unpredictable year of many travels, I've been fortunate, wherever I was, to every once in a while to chill out, breathe, and take a good picture. This photo blog is a collection of my favorite pictures from the past year; I want to share them with you. 

Thanks, hope you enjoy!

-JTF

You can simply scroll down to view all of the pictures. Alternatively, you can click on the first picture and view each picture one at a time.

* designates a picture not actually taken by me.

The Sundial Bridge at Turtle Bay
8/14/14. Redding, CA

Multnomah Falls
8/16/14. Multnomah County, OR

Seattle Public Library
8/19/14. Seattle, WA

Seattle Public Library
8/19/14 Seattle, WA

Seattle Skyline from Gas Works Park
8/21/14 Seattle, WA

Sunset view from Golden Gardens
9/6/14 Seattle, WA

Wallace Falls State Park
10/18/14 Gold Bar, WA

Sunset on the Snake River
11/3/14 Huntington, OR

Snake River
11/4/14 Twin Falls, ID

Dierkes Lake
11/4/14 Twin Falls, ID

Balanced Rock
11/7/15. Arches National Park, UT

Windows Arches
11/7/15. Arches National Park, UT

North Window Arch
11/7/15. Arches National Park, UT

Double Arch
11/7/15. Arches National Park, UT

The view from inside Double Arch
11/7/15. Arches National Park, UT

Delicate Arch
11/7/14 Arches National Park, UT

Sunrise over the La Sal Mountains
11/9/14 Moab, UT

Grand View Point*
11/9/14 Canyonlands National Park, UT

The Canyons from inside Aztec Butte
11/9/14. Canyonlands National Park, UT

Candle Tree
11/9/14 Canyonlands National Park, UT

Sunset at Green River Overlook
11/9/14. Canyonlands National Park

Birds Over Downtown
11/13/14. Santa Fe, NM

Two Bros
11/13/14 Santa Fe, NM

First Time in the Snow
11/14/14 Sandia Mountain, Albuuquerque, NM

Oklahoma City Bombing Memorial
11/15/14. Oklahoma City, OK

Little Rock Central High School
11/17/14. Little Rock, AR

Thanksgiving Turkey
11/27/14. Chamblee, GA

Dockery Lake
12/7/14. Chattahoochee National Forest, GA

Sky over Gulf of Mexico
12/30/14. Biloxi, MS

Train Concert
12/31/14. New Orleans, LA

New Year's on Bourbon Street
12/31/14. New Orleans, LA

An Empty Adams Stadium
3/11/15. North Druid Hills, GA

Savannah River
4/10/15. Savannah, GA

Ginger and Montana
6/11/15. Decatur, GA

Atlanta Skyline #1
6/15/15. Atlanta, GA

Atlanta Skyline #2
6/15/15 Atlanta, GA

World Trade Center Memorial
7/5/15. New York, NY

A Yale Sunset
7/13/15. New Haven, CT

Brookside Country Club
7/23/15. Stockton, CA

The Beach at Lake Tahoe
7/26/15. South Lake Tahoe, CA

Matthew at Eagle Falls
7/27/15. South Lake Tahoe, CA

Emerald Bay
7/27/15. South Lake Tahoe, CA

China Beach
7/28/15. San Francisco, CA

Red Rocks Amphitheatre
8/4/15. Morrison, CO

Two Brothers Coaching*
8/9/15/ Blaine, MN

10 years later*
8/9/15. North Reading, MA

Decisions, Decisions

It's already been a year since May 2014?

Emory's Class of 2015 graduated last week. That means that it's already been a full year since I graduated. Where did the time go?

Back in March, I blogged about what a crazy ten months it had been since I graduated, and how uncertainty had taken over my life. At that point in time, I had no clue what I was doing with my life. It's crazy to think about how true that was.

Since my last blog post, however, things have (finally) become clearer. I decided that this fall I'll be moving to Nashville and attending Vanderbilt University, pursuing my Master's in Higher Education Administration. While the decision seems straight-forward and simple at the moment, it wasn't always this way, not even a mere few weeks ago when I made this decision.

Theoretically, my plan to go to grad school, which I initally devised in the fall, had gone according to script. Quit job in Seattle. Go on a road trip and move back to ATL. Apply to grad schools. Keep the boat afloat until the summer/fall. Go to grad school.  In that sense, I had done everything I wanted to since I quit my job way back when. Despite the fact that I knew the real world, relative to college, was a bit of adjustment, I was unsure if graduate school is what truly I wanted at that time.

But then, a few months after I moved back to Atlanta, when I finally started to get settled in, things got even more difficult as good unexpected things started to happen. I found a great room to sublet and call home. I quickly (re)integrated myself into the Atlanta community as I comfortably joined various local ultimate leagues, and even went on a road trip to play indoor ultimate in Pittsburgh* with a bunch of people I had just met. I tried out for the AUDL's Atlanta Hustle, the first ever professional ultimate team in Atlanta, and made the practice squad. I worked my way onto a rostered spot, and the next thing you know there's a poster for me in the stands, and I'm playing in the craziest ultimate game ever.

*...which is an 11 hour drive from Atlanta. what was I thinking?

Crazy Finish. Start @ 2:52

My comfort here in Atlanta--based largely on my improved social life and my revived ultimate frisbee career--was great enough that I seriously thought about bailing on my summer and graduate school plans simply so I could stay in town. Unlike in Seattle, here in Atlanta I had things to be happy about, things to look forward to, things to work towards.

I had a decision to make: Give up all the comfort I gained upon returning to Atlanta and go to Vanderbilt to further my professional career, OR stay put in Atlanta and use this momentum, which seemed to get stronger each day I stayed in Atlanta, to build and develop what I had here.

Part of me had wished that I never gotten into Vanderbilt, or any other graduate school. It would have been much easier if I only had the option to stay in Atlanta, so I could continue to develop my ultimate career and friendships here, or if I had not enjoyed my return to Atlanta, so going to Vanderbilt was an easy option.

Going to Vanderbilt felt like the logical choice, but I just couldn't shake the thought of leaving Atlanta again. What if Nashville is just like Seattle and I'm still too weak to make it on my own in a brand new city, as I so delicately described last fall? What if school sucks and I hate it? Would going to Vandy be sacrificing my best chance to advance my ultimate career and prevent me from further developing the relationships I've built here, the two things that have most kept me afloat during this challenging year?

It took me months to realize, but in the end, as comfortable as I am back home in Atlanta, and as nicely as my ultimate career and social life are progressing here, it is not enough to keep me from going to Vanderbilt to pursue a greater education and a new life. My realization was summed up whenever I was asked this question: "What do you do?"

Unfortunately, "I'm a professional ultimate player" isn't a legitimate answer. I couldn't secure a full-time job, so I had been working two part time jobs doing menial tasks, counting down the hours, primarily to pay rent. And I played ultimate on the side, as a(n awesome) third part-time job, if you can call it that.* So basically, aside from ultimate, I don't really do anything. Nothing that uses my skills and talents, nothing that benefits society. Ultimate is awesome, but it's unfortunately, by itself, not something I** can build my life around. And once I realized this, going to Vanderbilt was the right choice.

*I'm going to call it that. So when I write my autobiography twenty years from now I can say that I worked three part-time jobs.
** This isn't to say that building a life around ultimate is impossible. I know at least a few people who have made ultimate a top priority and succeed in doing so. It's just something I myself cannot do at this time.

When I look back in (a few weeks') retrospect, I definitely learned a few things about making a difficult decision, particularly after what has been a challenging year.

Often times, especially during times of hardship, people fear making difficult decisions. It is important to realize that the opportunity to make a tough decision in itself, although stressful, is a blessing; it means you actually have a say in choosing the best of multiple options, which is better than having no options to choose from. If we didn't have to make tough decisions, life would be pretty boring, arguably pointless. Once you're truly ready to make the decision--and only you will know when that is--make it. And don't look back.

It is also important to not let past experiences, especially negative ones, dictate who you are and the decisions you make. You have to overcome those demons, saddle up, and move forward. I was so worried that moving to Nashville would end up like moving to Seattle did that I subconsciously refused to acknowledge the positives and potential of Nashville, and the fact that the situation I'm putting myself in in Nashville is much more secure and potentially rewarding.

It was only recently that I was able to truly embrace a more optimistic perspective of going to graduate school at Vandy. What if I love school, learning, my classmates, and my new Nashville community? What if moving to Nashville actually enhances my ultimate career? After all, there's a professional team there too, and I even have an extra year of USA Ultimate college eligibility.* What if I (gasp) actually am better fit for Nashville than my beloved Atlanta? 

*Thank you (incompetency of ) 2010-2011 Emory Juice. Something I never thought I'd say in my life.

Sometimes you try something, and it doesn't work out. Sometimes the result was in your control, sometimes it wasn't. Such is life. And you need to accept it. 

But that doesn't mean you can't try again, or that it won't work out the next time too. You do your research, make some adjustments, and if it makes sense, you try again to the best of your abilities. That's all you can ask out of yourself. Just because Seattle fell flat doesn't mean Nashville will too.

I don't know if Vanderbilt and Nashville will work out. I could have a Seattle-esque experience, bail, and the next thing you know I'm taking photos of my road trip back to Atlanta, blogging about how to overcome adversity again. But Vanderbilt might just be exactly what I need to get back on track and ultimately live a fulfilling, happy life. There's only one way to find out.

See you in Nashville.

-JTF

Uncertainty.

It's been a crazy ten months since I first left Atlanta, and a crazy four months since I've returned. Returning to Atlanta was a great decision, perhaps one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life. I want to thank every family member, friend, teammate, stranger, and everyone else who has supported me and given me the chance to grow, for it is you all who give me the strength and motivation needed to continue the process of becoming the best person I can possibly be. Thank you.

-JTF

* * *

I walked around in my black cap and gown on a scorching hot sunny May Atlanta day, smiling for pictures, holding my diploma, and giving hugs to least a hundred people. While I didn't show it on the outside, deep down, that supposedly celebrated achievement--May 12, 2014--was overshadowed by the uncertainty that came with it.  

And thus began the craziest ten months (and counting) of my life, filled with questions and uncertainty. It's June and still no job yet? Take the first reasonable job in a cool city... Seattle here I come. It's September, and my job sucks so hard I'd rather be shamelessly unemployed. What now? Quit my job. It's October. I'm in a new city, with no job, virtually no friends, post-college depression is in full effect, and now it's starting to rain everyday. Admit weakness. It's November. Where to go, and how to get there? Epic solo cross-country road trip back to the place most closely resembling home, atl. It's December, apply to graduate school? Sure, why not. It's January. Professional ultimate frisbee has reached Atlanta. Might as well go to tryouts and see what happens. It's February, I'm running out of money. Do I take a part-time job or two that I know I'm overqualified for, relatively meaningless jobs that I could have easily performed without an Emory degree? I don't really have a choice, rent's not gonna pay itself.

I asked myself basic questions about things that I had taken for granted pretty much my entire life: What city will I be in? Where will I be next week, next month, next year? Will I be sleeping in a bed, in a room I can call my own? Will I have a job? Will I be living with somebody else? Will I have any friends? Who are they?

Every single week brought an important change to my life story--a pleasant surprise, an unexpected downfall, or an important decision to be made. This unpredictable, somewhat exhilarating lifestyle was a stark change from my four years at college where things were basically the same and all I had to do was stay the course. 

While it is debatable on whether or not my recent roller coaster lifestyle should be viewed primarily as exciting or stressful, at least my life hasn't been boring or routine. If someone were to ask me "what have you been up to since graduation last May?" a true and full response--the places I've been, the people I've met, the surprises I've had, the struggles I encountered, the lessons I've learned--could take hours. Conversely, I know numerous people who would respond: "I graduated in May and now I work for company X in city Y."

I has been ten months since I graduated and left Atlanta and four months since I returned, and only now have I finally settled into some sort of daily routine. I get up in the morning, work two mindless part time jobs from 10-6, work out a few times a week, and play both competitive and casual ultimate on the weekends. It's not an ideal life, and certainly not a life I had expected myself living, but things have definitely been worse.

While it's nice to have some semblance of structure in my daily schedule, so much remains unanswered. I still do not know where I'll be or what I'll be doing in July, or where I'll be or what I'll be doing in the fall. At any moment, as it has been for the past ten months, I could receive a single phone call, a single email, a single text, that could potentially change the direction of my life over the next few days, months, or years.

This prolonged period of uncertainty, one where it seems as if every decision I make could legitimately change the course of my life, has forced me to really think about what I desire and who I really am.

What do I want? Happiness, obviously. But what is it that truly makes me happy, what is it that I want and need to enjoy that happiness? Financial stability? A career that I can take pride in? A normal work schedule where I can simply play ultimate on weekends? To be able to work towards something I'm passionate about? To help others and feel like I'm contributing to society? The comfort of a good friend? A sense of community? To simply feel wanted, appreciated, needed? 

Not everyone is in this uncertain situation where the answers to these questions are so unclear. All the power to you. If you happen to be in a routine and stable life situation, cherish it and don't take it for granted. There's definitely a sense of security knowing what you'll be doing and where you'll be for the foreseeable future. Not everyone has that luxury.

But perhaps you're in a similar situation to mine, one filled with uncertainty and decisions that force you to search for answers to fundamental questions that will ultimately define you. Cherish it and don't take it for granted. It's an exciting life, and you never know the next time life will be so full of surprises and twists and turns again.

In the end, regardless of how certain your current situation is, all you can do is stay positive, try your best, and roll with the punches. You have to trust the process and believe that everything that happens is part of a greater plan. Everything works out the way it's supposed to. It always does.

-JTF

Super Bowl XLIX: The Single Best Moment of My Sports Spectating Career

Wow. What a night. Some 20 hours later, I am still in total shock on exactly what happened last night in Super Bowl XLIX.

The build up to the game was something in itself. Deflategate. Dynasties. Brady-Sherman. The two best teams in each conference. No clear favorite. The game had the billing of perhaps the most epic Super Bowl ever. Additionally on a personal level, the fact that the opponent was Seattle of all places, the town I simply could not acclimate myself to and left promptly after living there for two months, made the game feel even more meaningful to me. I really wanted the Pats to win this one.

I invited some friends from college over to my house for the game. As I quickly realized, after the Patriots' first touchdown, that I was by myself for this one, the only Patriots fan in the room. Most of my friends were indifferent. A couple of people wanted Seattle to win in spite of the Patriots and/or me.

The first half was, from a Patriots fan's point of view, rather underwhelming. Although the score was tied 14-14, it felt like we should have been up by at least a field goal, but even more likely 7 or 10 points. Brady pissed away three likely points with a pretty horrible interception in the first quarter, and the Pats inexplicably let Seattle direct a last minute touchdown drive to close the first half. With the Seahawks receiving the second half kickoff and being notoriously known for being a very strong second half team, I was very cautious about the Patriots' chances in winning the game.

So, following a few meaningless one dollar halftime show prop bets and a solid performance by my dreamgirl Katy Perry, Missy Elliot, and those dancing sharks, when the second half began and Seattle quickly turned a 14-14 game into a 24-14 lead, in large part thanks to another interception thrown by Tom, things didn't look very good. The odds were stacked against us.

But the Patriots kept grinding. As the final frame commenced, the Pats started their comeback. A long drive cut the deficit to 24-21, and after a three-and-out by Seattle, Tom led another touchdown drive to put us up 28-24, with a couple of minutes left in the game.

Then, this happened:

(you'll have to click it again to watch it on youtube)

That sinking feeling, and I feel as if I speak for all Patriots fans, all felt too familiar. It happened when David Tyree pinned that football to his helmet, ruining the 19-0 season. Having victory in our grasp, only to have it taken away in the most gut-wrenching fashion possible. With first and goal to go, the best running game in the league, and only a minute left, a Seattle victory seemed inevitable. The Patriots were cooked. 

Meanwhile, I was beginning to digest another cruel ending to another promising Patriots' season. My guests moved their attention to my reactions, as I was the only person with a vested interest in the room. I was in utter shock and was noticeably deflated--hand on my forehand, mouth agape, eyes wide open--and having trouble processing what I had just witnessed. My friends sitting directly next to me both tried to console me as I recall receiving a hug, a pat on the head, and the classic "It's okay, Josh." Some of my other closer buddies, who felt schadenfreude in my displeasure and my team's failures, mocked me in my own home, even snapping pictures of my sadness so they could capture the moment and share it with mutual friends. I was so distressed I could only manage a weak attempt at shielding my face from the flashes of their phone cameras. I recall putting my Patriots beanie over my face as NBC put the Tyree catch flashback on air, right after the Kearse catch happened. How did this happen AGAIN? I had accepted defeat.

Marshawn Lynch ran the ball five yards to set up 2nd and goal, only one yard away from the Patriots' inevitable defeat. But then:

(you'll have to click it again to watch it on youtube)

Oh my god. What the fuck just happened? Is this real life?

That Malcolm Butler--an undrafted free agent out of West Alabama, a guy who was in (and got kicked out of) community college just a few years earlier, a guy who was working at Popeye's a few years ago, a guy who only received one invitation to try out for an NFL team, a guy who didn't even enter the game until the 3rd quarter--made the play the game, the year, (the history of the NFL?) is truly incredible.

I wasn't the only one celebrating.

Because of Butler, Seattle fans are devastated, thousands of kids in Africa will think the Seahawks won the Super Bowl, Tom Brady will be seen as the GOAT instead of the guy who could no longer finish, the Patriots will remain as the NFL's most recent dynasty, and I'm spending a couple of hours crafting this blog post instead of crying myself back to sleep knowing that Seattle bested me yet again. It's crazy how much perspectives and storylines change, based on one play, by some guy who overcame all odds to even be there. It's even sillier that so many people (ahem, fans like myself) are so affected by and emotionally invested in something that they legitimately have zero control over.

While I've had incredible sports spectating moments before, as far as emotional change is concerned, this one has truly been the most dramatic and sensational, if you believe emotions are all relative and about reality vs. expectation. The difference of being convinced my team would lose and then discovering that my team actually just won the championship of the biggest sporting event in the U.S. just a few seconds later has got to be the best feeling that I, as a sports spectator, will ever experience.

The win probability of Super Bowl XLIX.
Greatest play, in terms of championship winning probability, in the history of sports?

What an incredible Super Bowl, what an incredible game. This is why I watch sports, regardless of how silly it makes me look. Thank God I am a Patriots fan. Thank you Malcolm Butler.

-JTF

P.S. I give Katy's Performance an 8 out of 10 and my favorite commercials were the Liam Neeson Clash of Clans Commercial, The First Draft Ever, and the Weather Tech Commercial.